There is something absolutely marvellous in this ghazal.
Read on
justjoo-e-sehr mai'n rehta hoo'nfikr e ilm o hunar mai'n rehta hoo'ntum samajhtey ho ghar mai'n rehta hoo'nmai'n ki diwaar o dar mai'n rehta hoo'nba'd marney k sub hi rehtey hai'nmai'n tao zinda qabar mai'n rehta hoo'nnaam letey huey bhi darta hoo'nmai'n ik aisey shehr mai'n rehta hoo'napney bacchey ko bhaij kar schoolmai'n hama waqt fikar mai'n rehta hoo'nteri aa'nkho'n mai'n kuch tao hey warnakiun mai'n inkey asar mai'n rehta hoo'nhoo'n mai'n taara kisi ki aa'nkho'n kaaur kisi ki nazar mai'n rehta hoo'nmod deta hoo'n rukh hawaao'n keykhud hamesha bha'nwar mai'n rehta hoo'nho mulaqaat kis tarah tum semai'n tao aksar safar mai'n rehta hoo'njitna bacchta hoo'n khud numaai sewutna ziyada khabar mai'n rehta hoo'nmujh se asrar poochtey kya hokya bataoo'n kidhar mai'n rehta hoo'n
The art of dealing with people
What is the quality that all successful people have in common? They have mastered the art of dealing with people! A human relation is the science of dealing with people in such a way that our egos and their egos remain intact. The reason 90 per cent of the people fail in life is failure to deal successfully with people. The doctors, the lawyers, the salesperson who enjoy the most success are not necessarily the ones who are the most skilled in their job. The husband and wife who are the happiest are not the ones who are the most attractive.
Understanding the human ego
The first law of human relations is “people act or fail to act, largely to enhance their own egos.” Because the human ego is such a precious thing to its possessor, and because a person will go to all extremes to defend against what he perceives as threats to his ego, the word egotism has a negative connotation. Every human being is a special, individual personality, always ready to defend his ego against all enemies. That is why you cannot treat people as machines. If you are on good terms with yourself, you are on good terms with others. Ego-hunger is as universal and natural as the hunger for food. Ego of each person needs respect approval and a sense of accomplishment. A starved ego is a mean ego.When self-esteem is at a high level, people are easy to get along with. When self-esteem is at a low ebb, trouble comes easily. And when self-esteem gets low enough, almost anything can become a threat. To that person a critical look or a harsh word can seem like a calamity.Develop the habit of paying at least five sincere compliments each day and watch how much smoother your relations with others become. Help others to like themselves better and satisfy their hunger for self-esteem.
Making people feel important
Never make the mistake of assuming that just because someone is successful or famous, they have no need or feeling of importance. Courtesy and politeness are merely ways in which we acknowledge the importance of the other person. Little things that are apparently unimportant actions can have such tremendous consequences in the field of human relations. Remember that it takes only a small spark to start a fire. And little things you do and say can set off a chain reaction.If you want to make a good impression on others, the best way is to let them know that they impress you. You should know when to correct others. Ask yourself: does it make any real difference that they are right or wrong? Don’t try to win all the little battles! If nothing else is involved except the person’s ego, why bother?
Controlling the actions and attitudes of others
Dealing with others is as though we are standing before a mirror. When we smile, the person in the mirror smiles; when we frown, they frown; and when we shout, they shout back. Knowing this you can control others’ emotions to an amazing degree. When you find yourself in an explosive situation, lower the tone of your voice and keep it low. This will literally force others to keep their voices low, too.It is a sad but a true fact that many of mediocre ability get further than those who have outstanding talents because they know how to control their actions. Watch your walk; your physical actions express your mental attitude. See someone walking with head and eyes down and you are looking at a pessimistic soul. Use the magic switch of a smile. Everyone is blessed with a cute smile. It’s just a matter of letting it out. If you are not using your smile, you’re like someone with a million in the bank and no cheque book.
Attracting people
Those who accept and like people just as they are, have the most influence in changing others’ behaviour for the better. Approval means something more positive as it goes beyond just tolerating faults and find something we can like.You can always find something to approve of in others. It may be something small and insignificant. Seek things out, praise, and watch people glow! The word ‘appreciate’ means to raise in value. Stop and consider how others are valuable to you. We all want to be recognized for our own unique worth. Start using the triple ‘A’ formula for attracting people.
Learning to communicate effectively
One thing successful people have in common is the skill in using words. Earning power and word skill are so closely tied together that you can safely expect to increase your earnings simply by increasing your word power. Small talk is necessary to get the wheels of conversation turning. Realizing this will enable you to start a conversation even with a perfect stranger.Get people to talk about themselves. Try warming up the other person with words like “Where are you from? What do you think of our weather? What business are you in? These questions get the others talking about themselves. They break the ice as they see that you are interested in them. You don’t have to search for a topic of mutual interest. You start them off on the one topic they are expert in…themselves.You are a human, too, and it is natural to be tempted to talk about yourself. You want to shine; you want to impress others. But you will rate much higher in others’ estimation if you turn the conversation to them rather than to yourself. Others will have a much higher opinion of you.We make sarcastic remarks hoping that others will recognize our cleverness. Teasing and sarcastic remarks are both aimed at the self-esteem of others, and anything that threatens the self esteem is a dangerous business, even when done in fun.
Listening
Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote, “To be able to listen to others in a sympathetic and understanding manner is perhaps the most effective mechanism in the world for getting along with the people and tying up their friendship for good.” Successful people encourage others to talk, and to keep on talking, while keeping their own mouths shut. You increase their self-esteem by this; for everyone likes to think that they have something to say that is worth saying.
Convincing others
When someone opposes our ideas, we take it as a threat to our ego. We become hostile and try to ram our ideas down our opponent’s throat. This is not the way to win. The only way to win an argument is to get others to change their minds in a friendly way. Tell someone their ideas are stupid and they will defend them forever. Use threats and they simply close their minds against your ideas, regardless of how good they may be. There is only one way to get an idea accepted — by suggestion. Try to slip an idea into someone’s subconscious, more or less unnoticed.
Giving praise
Praise gives us new energy and new life. All you have to do is to give sincere praise to someone each day, and notice how it helps them to do better. If someone does you a small favour, show your appreciation and give them credit by saying ‘thank you.’ If there is someone who irritates you, begin looking for something for which you can compliment them. If they bite your head off, maybe they have nice teeth. So, compliment them on their teeth.
Criticizing without offending
The word ‘criticism’ leaves a bad taste in our mouths. The real art of criticism is not to beat others down, but to build them up. It is not to hurt feelings, but to help people do a better job. Criticism must be done in absolute privacy. The mildest form of criticism in the presence of others is likely to be resented. Preface criticism with a kind word or compliment. Make criticism impersonal; criticize the act, not the person.By pinpointing your criticism to their actions, you can pay them a compliment and build up their ego at the same time: “I know from past experience that this error is not typical of your usual performance.” Remember, to call attention to an error once is justified, twice is unnecessary, three times is nagging. Your goal in criticizing is to get a job done, not to win an ego fight.Skill in human relations is similar to skill in any other field, in that success depends on understanding and mastering certain basic general principles. The one successful way to get the things you want from life is to acquire skill in dealing with people.
MY FAVORITE STARS
My favourite stars are Geminie( coz mine) and my best freind's stars are Areis and Scorpio.
I believe my friends Siama & Huba (Aries) ,Kalsoom & Nagmana (scoripio) are of my best freinds and nothing in my life is complete without their contributaion so how come that i donot mention my friends on my blog !!.
so here im discussing the features of their stars.
ARIES
Aries is a signal for the coming of spring, which indicates a fresh new beginning. No wonder it is the first sign of the zodiac. Aries symbolizes a young Ram that is highly adventurous, ambitious, energetic and full of enthusiasm. The people that fall under this sign are born leaders and are the pioneers both in thought and action, very open to new ideas and loves freedom. They welcome challenges and are risk takers. On their dark sides they are extremely impatient and want immediate results otherwise they would divert from their original purpose. They can’t take orders and their immense energy makes them aggressive, agitated, determined, quick-tempered and easily offended.In personal relationships Arians are frank, straightforward, loyal, candid, and make enthusiastic and generous friends. Arians are sensitive and soft-hearted people and return the kindness generously. They mind their own business and expect the same from others and get extremely irritated when others try to interfere in their business. They instil new life into their surroundings, as they are very lively people and urge others to come out of the darkness and into the light. They are the survivors in times of adversity. Arians are highly devoted to their children, even to the point of laying down their own lives, so that their children might live. One would not find a more defensive and loving parent in the entire zodiac.SCORPIO
Scorpio, named after the insect scorpion, is the most intense and powerful sign of the zodiac. Their jealousy is famous. No matter how calm and placid they might be from the outside there is an enraged strength of emotional energy evolving from inside them. They are like volcanoes ready to erupt at any moment so have very unpredictable personality moods. They are defined as fervent friends and subtle foes. They make excellent friends, provided that their companions do nothing of the sort that made the scorpions jealous.In social gatherings they are a pleasant and desirable company, thoughtful in conversation, dignified, and reserved, yet jovial, polite and well mannered. They are great observers and sometimes possess penetrating eyes, which makes the other person uncomfortable and defenceless before them. They are deeply sensitive and easily moved by their emotions. Scorpions become emotionally involved in their work. Over all they are very exciting people with magnetic attraction.GEMINI
People born under this sign have adaptive and versatile personality. They are clever, intellectual and expressive people but on the other side they are dual-natured, indefinable, complex and contradictory. Gemini symbolizes the twins, which represents the dual mindedness of people born under this sign. This characteristic encourages the frequent changes in the mind of a Gemini; they can’t stick to one decision and for that reason they are hard to get along with. They are loving and caring fellows with a maternal touch in them, always helping those who are down or in need.Gemini are the collectors of knowledge and wit whether it may be superficial or deep. They easily grasp almost everything requiring intelligence and mental dexterity. They can handle all situations by exhibiting different characteristics in different situations. In times of adversity, they get worried, tensed and nervous easily.They hold the quality of being able to live in a pure abstract or fantasy world and possess lively imagination therefore one of the most creative of all signs. To them, life is a game, which must always be full of fresh moves and continuous entertainment, free of labour and routine. No matter how old they get, they are forever young with a playful and attractive personality; they don’t want to spend much time alone so hunt for fun and companions.
Well, I have question for you... The question is not so costly..... Only of Rs. 1 /-
Once A, B & C went to a restaurant. After having tea and light refreshment they asked for bill, the amount of bill was Rs. 30 /- They decided to pay the bill
amount on equal share. Everybody took out Rs. 10 /- from their pocket and paid the bill. They were yet sitting and gossiping in restaurant, Suddenly the
waiter realized that the amount of their bill was Rs. 25 /- not Rs. 30 /- He took Rs. 5 /- from counter and decided to return them. Then he thought they are 3
how will they share Rs. 5 /- ? So he has decided to keep Rs. 2 /- to him and return only Rs. 3 /- to them.
He came to their table and returned them Rs. 3 /- with apology. Everybody took Rs. 1 /- and put in their pockets.
Now my question is first time everyone paid Rs. 10 /- later they get Rs 1 /- refunded. So everybody paid Rs. 9 /-
Rs. 9 * 3 = Rs. 27 /-
The waiter put Rs 2 /- in his pocket.
Rs. 27 + Rs 2 = 29
So...... Where is the remaining Rs. 1 /-
Find out where is the remaining Rs. 1 /- OR everybody has to pay Rs. 1 /- to me
